Mid-Week Music #33 - You're a Mean One, Mr. Grinch (Thurl Ravenscroft)

Well, this was a surprise, wasn’t it?

I do have a reason that I’m doing a Christmas song in April, and that reason is my little sister, Sarah. When she watched How the Grinch Stole Christmas last year, she loved it. She likes to watch the Grinch song, or even things like this:

Yeah. She used to drive me crazy with that. Over and over.

But the point is, her birthday was just the other day. I promised her I’d do this song for her birthday, since she likes the ‘Ginch’ so much. So I’m doing it. There are a lot of variants by different musicians (including Uncle Si Robertson of Duck Dynasty), each with sort of different lyrics, but I figured I’d start with the original.

So here you go, Sarah! Happy Birthday!

You’re a mean one, Mr. Grinch

You really are a heel
You’re as cuddly as a cactus
You’re as charming as an eel
Mr. Gri-INCH
You’re a bad banana with a greasy black peel

You’re a monster, Mr. Grinch

Your heart’s an empty hole
Your brain is full of spiders
You’ve got garlic in your soul
Mr. Gri-INCH
I wouldn’t touch you with a thirty-nine-and-a-half-foot pole

You’re a vile one, Mr. Grinch
You have termites in your smile
You have all the tender sweetness of a seasick crocodile
Mr. Gri-INCH
Given the choice between the two of you, I’d take the seasick crocodile

You’re a foul one, Mr. Grinch
You’re a nasty-wasty skunk
Your heart is full of unwashed socks
Your soul is full of gunk
Mr. Gri-INCH
The three words that best describe you are as follows, and I quote:
“Stink! Stank! Stunk!”

You’re a rotter, Mr. Grinch
You’re the king of sinful sots
Your heart’s a dead tomato
Splotched with moldy purple spots
Mr. Gri-INCH
Your soul is an appalling dump-heap, overflowing with the most disgraceful assortment of deplorable rubbish imaginable
Mangled up in tangled-up knots

You nauseate me, Mr. Grinch
With a nauseous super-naus
You’re a crooked, jerky jockey
And you drive a crooked hoss
Mr. Gri-INCH
You’re a three-decker sauerkraut and toadstool sandwich
With arsenic sauce